A long time coming....

 Yes, this blog has been a long time coming.  I think I have written this in my head numerous times since the first of the year.

So, I am here to answer two of your questions that I get weekly from you.  What happened to me?  And am I okay?  I will do what I can to answer  both without writing a book.

A LOT happened to me, and yes I am okay.  As you know I had some major health issues, and some that will never go away.  It started with a physical, believe it or not.  I was expecting that I may have high blood pressure and possibly cholesterol, but it appears it was much more then that.  My mammogram came back showing a lump, and for those that have been with me for years, know that this was not my first lumpectomy.

I also have a problem with lidocaine, a general anesthesia, that sent me into a full cardiac arrest in an outpatient procedure in 1990.   The hospital, (not my surgeon) required cardiac clearance for my lumpectomy.  This included and EKG, and Echocardiogram and a nuclear test.  (The first two I have had numerous times, but never a nuclear test to which I have always passed.)  Surgery was scheduled and as I was being taken to the OR, it came in I did not have cardia clearance.  I passed the EKG and Echo,  as I always had, but there was a major problem with my nuclear test.  I was then rerouted to a heart cath.  Long story short, the heart cath failed.  This left me with a lump in my breast and a major heart problem that all needed to be addressed right away.  This was the beginning of my story.

I ended up firing my cardiologist and so very grateful and blessed for the one I have today.  He took me on at the last minute.  We moved to another hospital and he preformed what most didn't think was possible.....a 4 hour heart cath and 5 stents.  The goal of course to fix everything without cracking my chest open.  This was successful, now onto breast surgery.  This too went fine and came back benign.  

Onto the next pressing problem, my legs.  The valves are shot in both (Years of high heels and pavement) and again, cannot be fixed because of my anesthesia problem.   However, there was a bigger problem, the blockage in my right leg that ran from my mid thigh all the way to my ankle, as in no blood flow.  How was this possible?  A bare trickle it appeared.  On the cat scan you see no blood flow at all.  How am I walking? How is it I don't have a cane?  Those questions remain today.  Again, long story short, this has led to 3 doctors and 4 failed heart caths as they have never seen anything like it and are unable to get through it.  Yes, I did loose the pulse in my foot completely at one point and there was an amputation discussion.

Meanwhile, they also found blockages in both sides of my neck.  Now unlike the other, this comes from smoking.  They were not as pressing as the other problems, or so we thought.  This is right up until I had a TIA or mini stroke, of all places in my cardiologist office during a routine test.  The artery in your neck branches off into one controlling your face and the other controlling your brain.  The blockage was in the one controlling my face.  The one controlling my brain....completely collapsed.  Off to emergency surgery of an endarterectomy on my neck.  And of course a cat scan.....which shows I have a brain aneurism....and while in ICU, Covid hits.  (I was released the next morning because of people dieing from the flu).

I was sent home to heal, thinking we have basically fixed about everything, and waiting to hear more about my brain aneurism.  Then laying on the sofa watching TV, a mini stroke hit.  It was if someone had drawn a line down my body and my whole right side for a moment in time went numb.  This they now knew was the brain aneurism.  The next problem....we are on lockdown for Covid.  So stay home do NOTHING and do not STRESS about anything while they find someone to take my case.  The one they found was in NC, my insurance would not cover it.  This turned into a 5 month wait, until they called and said they had the best neurosurgeon around to take my case and I was being scheduled for the following week.  Whooohoooo yay!  This is good news!  Wait a minute....what?  A brain surgeon?

Three trips into my brain to be exact, (two while I was awake) the first to look to see how to do this as it was deemed inoperable.  The second, the actual brain surgery, and the third to go in to see if the fix worked and would it hold.  I cannot express to you what this was like emotionally, but I'm sure you can guess.  So in the surgery, I was on the machine, taken off, and I went down.  I apparently clenched my teeth together and the knocked my teeth out with an intubation tube, breaking a bone in my mouth while doing so. Using lidocaine, (the one I am allergic to, because it was the lesser of two evils of the paddles or lidocaine to restart my heart.)  This gave me a heart attack the moment I hit ICU.  And....no one allowed in because of Covid.  I literally had someone drop me off at 4am for brain surgery, went through all of this, and was released the following day.

Prosthetic bone in my mouth and teeth fixed.  The worst has to be over....so I thought.  A year had passed time for my mammogram.  This time, another lump in the other breast....but this one came back as cancer.  The numbers were not exactly in my favor as far as it returning within 5 years.  I also lost my mother to breast cancer.  I went for a double mastectomy with implants.  This did not go well either.  There was also a tummy tuck to which I would not recommend to my worst enemy.  This was done because and I quote, "Because I had been through so much, and it would help my self-esteem."  This too, almost cost me my life.

My body rejected the silicone implants, one by one.  The incision for my tummy tuck (that was hip to hip up to my ribs) got infected right away.  Funny thing, all the meds, made me a type 2 diabetic, that no one seemed to notice, until I got an infection that wouldn't heal.  (Yes, this should have been addressed before ANY surgery.)  So, staff infection had to be cut out.  This left a one inch open incision, bandaged and stuck me in a body binder.  Home health care 3 days a week for an open wound that won't heal, and me pretty much immobile, for 8 MONTHS! Then staff infection in my stomach met the bacteria infection in my breasts and well...I  went sepsis.  Rescue squad and taken to MCV where I spent a week. Prior to this all of my hospital stays were overnight.

So in a nutshell I did 18 procedures in the span of 26 months, with an open wound that took 8 months to close.  I'm not going to lie, my life was hell.  I was on my own with minimal help.  My daughter could not deal with my medical problems and bailed.  I drove myself to doctors appointments, picked up my prescriptions with drains and all,  and cried daily in pain as I could not handle the pain pills.  I worked every day.  Know one expected me to recover, not even my medical team.  But I did.  Or at least to the best of my ability.  My heart problems, prescriptions and tests are now a way of life for me.

I am not or ever have been on disability.  However, I cannot pull the hours that I used to, particularly because my legs won't allow it.  I play that pain off well.  I still walk with no assistance and to look at me you would not know anything was ever wrong with me. (That is the new rumor, it couldn't have been that bad because I look fine.)  Well, you know for a fact that you are indeed BACK when the haters resurface.

During the healing time I kept up with my YouTube channel and all of my readings.  I had problems with my website that I just could not physically address.  So I was thrilled to rebuild my websites bigger and better this year.  I placed myself on a "Video" schedule to keep my audience and to rebuild my business.  Many of you have hung in there and stuck with me, and I love you for that and appreciate every single one of you.  But at the same turn, many gave up on me.  Not just my clients but friends and people I know treated me like I was contagious.  All of this changes a person, and I will say to the better.

I know longer stress over the small stuff.  I know now, they believe I have had 8 heart attacks since my twenties, and had been in every single hospital in my area over the years.  They all said it was stress....and it was all because I passed an EKG.  I have had heart problems all my life, no one looked even though all the symptoms were there.

All of this has changed me for the better.  And believe me when I say, I know who was there for me and who was not.  In an odd way, this was all an answer to a prayer.  That is a story for another day.  Right now the only thing I am guilty of is over doing things because I do feel like my old self.  I will eventually find the right pace.  Life goes on.  I believe I have been rebuilt for a reason, although I am not sure what that is.  But you know me, I indeed have projects I am working on!  And thanks for your support on my podcast!  I enjoy that too!

In case you're wondering I did NOT become a health nut.  I eat right, and still have some weight left to loose.  I have been smoke free for 4 years and right now I need to put more focus on my walking.  Thank you all for your support.  I'm sorry I kept you in the dark for so long.  I know you all got bits and pieces, but this pretty much covers it.  

Readings as usual.....main website is now JackieTomlin.com   As always, I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU!

Until next time....

Jackie